NaPoWriMo 09 – day 18


One day past our second anniversary
when the mountain
tried to take you from me.

A stranger at the door,
using the name
I still thought of as your mother’s.

The colour drained out
of my clothes
until they were as white

as an avalanche.


The stone weight of cold
punched the windows in

and swept me off the road – our life
streaming past with a
roar that I was
drowning in and
nothing anywhere for
me to cling to.

*  *  *

I waited in the wreckage
until the moon shone in my eyes
like headlights,

and I dreamed that you
were there, and safe.

Fallen stars, like shards
of glass, 
settled in your hair.



This is still very much a draft, but one I’m pleased with. It’s a poem I’ve tried to write before, but never really managed. This attempt to write it was triggered by Read Write Poem prompt #17 – “Missing Something”, so once again I am much obliged.

I’m really curious to know what other people think it’s about. So, guesses?


4 Replies to “NaPoWriMo 09 – day 18”

  1. “I waited in the wreckage
    until the moon shone in my eyes
    like headlights,”

    A stanza which reminds us that in the dark hours of night
    things seem at their worst. And in the morning, in the light
    of day it all becomes either clearer; or more bearable whatever
    the case may be.

  2. Because of the way my browser opened this up the picture appeared after the line ‘as an avalanche.’ and so I thought that was it. It was only when I opened the screen up full to pass comment did the picture shift to the right and I saw the full piece. It works but I had already made my mind up that the shorter version was excellent and so the extra stanzas seem superfluous. I’d got the point.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s